Turn Away
by Gustpetal
Summary: What would it be like to have your brother murdered in front of you when you were only four moons old? What if you were told that he wasn't supposed to die . . . and you were? This is the story of a mistake, a runaway apprentice, a river, a power-hungry leader, two worlds colliding, and a vengeful she-cat with the power to save the clans, or destroy them. "StarClan will pay."
1. Part One - Lost

**Guestperson here with another story! I know, I know, I'm incompetent enough as it is with updating, but I wanted to make another one touching on the out-of-the-box thinking I wanted to accomplish here, anyway. So, sit back and enjoy the horrific prologue. **

**Part One - Lost**

_**P**erhaps if she had waited a moment longer, lingered outside the camp, turned back before they could wander any further, things would have been different. _

_The forest seemed so frightening to the young she-cat, a medley of confusing sights and sounds. She paused mid-step, ears angled sharply forward in her anxiety. A mouse fled from the brush, having spied the cat in its midst. However, the she-cat only shrieked in terror, back-peddling away from the unknown menace. _

_There was a light nudge on her shoulder, a white tail tip that ducked out of view. Spinning round, the she-cat came face to face with an almost perfect copy of herself; a tom of black and white. Only their eyes betrayed their true identities, some claimed. The tom's fierce yellow gaze sought out the she-cat's green orbs, but she ducked her head briefly, catching a glimpse of her white paws. _

_"I-I'm not sure this is safe," the black and white she-cat whispered. Her voice was hesitant, and unsure, and while her eyes looked longingly back to the familiarity of camp, the only place she'd ever known in her short life, her feet stayed firmly on the ground._

_"Oh, you worry too much," the tom said dismissively, well used to the she-cat's skittish behavior. He circled her so their eyes met, his head held high and imposing. "Besides, didn't you want to prove you were brave?" He coaxed._

_The she-cat's eyes narrowed at his words, and she broke his gaze once more, staring at the ground as she scraped it with her paw. She frowned deeply, as if contemplating the truth of the tom's words. "I . . . guess so."_

_The tom smirked, truimphant. He flicked the she-cat's shoulder playfully, and sprang forward. "Come on, I want to see the glen where the apprentices train!" He exclaimed exuberantly. The change in the she-cat's was obvious as he moved away, for the tom's excitement was infectious. She grinned widely, eyes bright. With a quick nod, she followed the black and white tom eagerly. Together, they ran forward through the new-leaf forest, squeaking excitedly with every spring of their paws._

_Suddenly, the tom paused, ears perked and tail high. The she-cat immediately stiffened, and fell into a crouch, her eyes wide with fur. "What is it?" She mewed querulously. The tom silenced her with a flick of his tail, and sank backwards. The she-cat relaxed slightly, and peered over the tom's shoulder to see the small form of a squirrel, ignorant of the cats' presence only tail-lengths away. It scraped at the ground, apparently looking for something. _

_"Watch this!" The tom whispered excitedly, sinking forward into what may have been a hunter's crouch. The she-cat watched attentively as the tom clumsily crept forward, and then suddenly, he let an ear-splitting screech, and leapt forward. For a few moments, everything was a blur as the tom seemed to try to keep a hold on something, moving too fast for the she-cat to discern easily. Finally, an orange-brown blur shot out of from underneath the tom — right into the she-cat's waiting claws. She stared at in bewilderment for a moment, and then the squirrel was gone, nothing more than a memory. _

_"So close, Brackenkit!" The tom meowed, springing to his paws. His fur was ruffled and covered in dirt, but the tom looked like he could care less. Brackenkit sighed in disappointment, her former excitement gone as disappointment replaced it. The tom gave her a comforting lick on the shoulder, and bound away. "We got to go to the glen now, remember?"_

_The tom was looking at her as he ran, so it was impossible for him to see the ginger and white mass that flashed through the underbrush. However, Brackenkit could see it all too well, and look on in horror and shock as the creature lunged from the undergrowth, maw open in a silent cry of impending doom. Paws reached forward as the tom became like his escaped prey, only this time, he wasn't going to escape._

_"Badgerkit!" Brackenkit shrieked, finally snapping out of her trance. _

_The tom spun around, his back exposed to teeth that were tail-lengths away from sinking into his flesh. "What, Brackenkit?" Normally, he would not take his sister's fears seriously, but he understood the urgency in Brackenkit's tone now._

_And then the fox sank its jaws into Badgerkit's throat. _

**-cackles evilly- Mwahaha, I have given you all a ****cliffy! Now you will all writhe in agony as I take a week to write the next chapter! Guestperson bids you all a good day. :DDDDD**


	2. storm of greed

**AU: . . . And a week becomes several, as in, a month. Sorry guys. ): I would prattle on about finals, and being school/sports oriented, but I suppose you'd just want to read the chapter instead, hmm?**

**storm of greed**

_I can still see how the light faded from his eyes, the way his smile was suddenly ripped away, replaced by a horrific scream that was all too short as the fox towered over me, shaking him like a wet bundle of leaves, limp and unresisting. I didn't scream as blood covered his black and white fur, and his throat was torn thoroughly by crimson fangs. I think I tried to, there was sort of a gurgling sound in my throat as I opened my mouth in an attempt to say . . . something. _

_The fox advanced, and I stood there terrified and in shock as he let Badgerkit's body fall, landing with a sickening squelch in the grass, his blood turning his fur a disgusting tint of pink. Sticky and matted, he barely resembled the big, strong brother I had known. He looked like some of the fresh-kill did when they were left and forgotten in the bottom of the pile, and were uncovered days later, wriggling with maggots and skinless. I couldn't stand to see someone who had been living, breathing, running, laughing like that. _

_Somehow, I survived, because that's when Hickorytail and his dawn patrol showed up. They took one look at Badgerkit's crumpled form, and the fox, and were suddenly all over the red demon. It was over in a matter of seconds, the warriors' attacks fueled by rage, and the fox turned tail and fled. _

_I was still in shock for the next couple of moons. All I remember was blurred vision and sticky cheeks, pitying faces, and grieving Greeneyes, and Birdclaw. They'd always loved Badgerkit more than me, I think, and they couldn't bear to look at me since that day. That day. It would be forever etched in my mind, for it was more than just the death of my brother. It was the death of me, the death of hope, and the death of my willingness to play this stupid little game anymore. Life was sickening and twisting, and I would not stand to be a pawn in the petty fights of warrior cats as they died to defend . . . what exactly? A stupid piece of land?_

_ —Bracken_

* * *

_Brackenpaw stared at her paws, and yet, _she did not really see them. All she could ever see, and all she'd ever be able to see, was her brother's mangled body. Distantly, she could hear Leafpaw chattering away as the small band of cats walked through the forest. Golden, brown, and red, swept Brackenpaw by as she continued to watch the ground falling away beneath her, and beyond. She sighed, quietly, under her breath, lamenting the repetitive nature of the life of a warrior. She felt old, like she'd walked this path hundreds of times, did these patrols millions of times, until the path and patrol and the scents and sights were all blended seamlessly into one endless continuing line, until the day Brackenpaw would finally die.

Up ahead, Leafpaw and Mousepaw were engaged in conversation, excited about the upcoming Gathering that was to be held that night. The two were still fresh from the nursery and had yet to do most of the things apprentices did, unlike Brackenpaw, who'd been an apprentice for three moons. And yet, it felt like she'd been one for three seasons. She tried to listen to the two younger cats, tried to be similarly interested, but there was nothing inside her besides the will to take another step, and another. At least she had that.

" . . .Oh, do you think there will be any handsome toms there?" Mousepaw said, curling her tail and ducking her head sheepishly. Her sister, Leafpaw, grinned.

"Maybe, but you know, it's against the code to be in love with a tom from another clan," Leafpaw said, smiling deviously like she could care less what the code thought.

"It would be _so _romantic and forbidden," Mousepaw said with a dreamy sigh, blinking rapidly.

From her position in the back, Brackenpaw huffed, flicking her tail in annoyance. It sickened her to think that, not too long ago, she was like these cats, dreamy and desperate and hopeful. _Hope_. Brackenpaw scorned the very thought of it.

"Oh, do you think Stormstar will make an announcement about the moved borders?" Leafpaw asked curiously, turning to regard her littermate with wide, excited eyes.

"Of course she will, silly!" Mousepaw retorted, cuffing the other white she-cat with a dark gray paw. Leafpaw growled and narrowed her eyes playfully, and crouched suddenly, stopping in her tracks. Brackenpaw stopped, her way blocked by the white apprentice, and she watched quietly as the two apprentices regarded each other with a playful intensity. Suddenly, a tortoiseshell tail cuffed Mousepaw in the jaw.

"Stop getting distracted, you three!" It was Firesky, Leafpaw's mentor. Up ahead, Graywing and Flutterheart, Brackenpaw's and Mousepaw's mentors respectively, turned to watch. Brackenpaw flicked a tail and looked at her paws, more than a little irritated; she wasn't the one getting distracted. She almost sighed when Firesky took her response for something else, like everyone in the clan did. "I'm so sorry, Brackenpaw, I didn't mean to . . ."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Brackenpaw said, looking up. From the mouth of any other cat, the statement would have been expressive of feelings of shame or irritation. But that was just the thing; Brackenpaw's voice was flat, as dead as she was on the inside. Leafpaw and Mousepaw looked at her with wide, pitying eyes, and distantly, Brackenpaw could hear Flutterheart say to Graywing, "That poor little kit."

_There's nothing to be sorry for! _The thought practically tore through Brackenpaw's mind as she watched these cats watching her. They would never understand, Brackenpaw thought bitterly. True, some of the warriors had lost siblings and parents and mates, but never at such a young age, when they were the only thing that kept you alive . . .

They would never understand, because Brackenpaw didn't care enough to make them understand. All they cared about was fighting, and never giving up, like the mouse-brained lot they were. They might as well have been on the other side of Silverpelt, for Brackenpaw was alone in her dark world. The light had died, and she was lost.

"Er, we're really sorry," Mousepaw said, breaking into Brackenpaw's solemn thoughts. The black and white she-cat watched as the younger grey she-cat looked up at Firesky, her eyes shining with shame.

"It's alright," Firesky said to her, finally taking her gaze off of Brackenpaw, and turning to look at the young apprentice. "Come on, we still need to go scent the ShadowClan border." And just like that, they forgot, Brackenpaw thought wryly as the small patrol leapt back into action, padding through the sun-lit autumn forest.

The rest of the patrol was rather uneventful, at least in Brackenpaw's mind. At the WindClan border, they saw signs of advancement once more, and the other cats were practically spitting with rage as they corrected it. They headed back to the ThunderClan camp with pelts bristling and waves of rage coming off of them . . . all except for Brackenpaw, of course.

When they arrived, in the glen that was their camp, Firesky immediately ducked into the hollow beneath the roots of the huge, old tree at the forefront of the camp; the leader's den. A few moments later the silver tabby form of Stormstar could be seen as she followed Firesky out of the den. Brackenpaw looked up at the sky, noting that the sky was ominously dark and cloudy. StarClan must be gathering its darkness for something at the Gathering, Brackenpaw noted. She swallowed hard, almost choking on the magpie she held in her mouth.

There was going to be fighting, Brackenpaw was sure of it. The very suggestion of blood and death caused her stomach to twist into painful, fear-tainted knots. Suddenly, she wasn't very hungry anymore, and set the magpie down. She would just end up tossing it all back out every time she thought of those empty, broken eyes . . .

"All cats of ThunderClan gather around the Great Rock for a clan meeting!" Brackenpaw turned her head to see Stormstar's blazing blue eyes that she was so famous for. No cat could stand to be under the scrutiny of the ThunderClan leader's wrathful gaze for long. Immediately, all the cats currently in the camp began to appear, streaming from dens and sunning areas to gather around their respected commander, ears angled towards the silver tabby.

Brackenpaw dipped her head to the ground and politely joined the others, already knowing what Stormstar was going to say, or rather, what she was so irked about. Stormstar would certainly not tolerate WindClan taking up _her _precious land. Of course, given a couple seasons or so, WindClan would just take away from her again. The squabbles between the clans were practically timeless.

"Cats of ThunderClan!" Stormstar began, her voice firm and loud. "We will stand the injustice that is WindClan no longer!" Murmurs of approval and agreement rippled through the ranks before Stormstar raised her tail for silence. "Tonight, at the Gathering, we will make our anger known, and attack WindClan for their wrong-doings!"

Now this statement left Brackenpaw in shock, as it did everyone else, and cries of rage and concurrence clashed as cats agreed and disagreed with Stormstar's plan. A cold, biting wind ruffled the fur of the ThunderClan cats, and, as one, all turned their heads skyward. The dark clouds Brackenpaw had seen gathering together moments before were now unleashing their fury on the clans below, sending icy rain and stabbing winds down to cut mercilessly through the cats.

"It is a sign!" Stormstar yowled, her eyes wide and hungry. Brackenpaw took an unconscious step back; Stormstar looked all too similar to the fox that had taken Badgerkit's light from his eyes. "It is a sign! StarClan says that the storm will sweep away all in its path! Remember this day, ThunderClan, for this is the day we stand up and say no more to the scum of WindClan!"

A synchronized cry came from the ranks, drowning out the howl of the wind. Stormstar looked pleased, a smug and victorious grin plastered on her face. She raised her tail high, tall and proud. "Tonight, the only warriors staying in the hollow will be Juniperleap, Shinefeather, Dustpaw, and Gustwillow! The rest, follow me!"

Brackenpaw was almost crushed in the resulting stampede for the exit to camp; all the warriors and apprentices being enthralled and caught up with Stormstar's lust for blood and revenge. It was almost a chant inside terrified Brackenpaw's head as she was forced along with the others, brambles, thorns, twigs and protruding roots catching and tearing at her as the group raced through the undergrowth. Suddenly, they burst out of the forest and raced along WindClan's territory, stars studding the sky above them until they were swallowed by the approaching clouds.

All at once, the war party slowed, Stormstar having given a signal to do so. Before the group, water lapped at the shore of the lake. They had trekked almost all the way to the Gathering bridge, but entering by that way would be too obvious. They were going to have to swim. Ears were perked forward, eyes were widened, and Brackenpaw could even see saliva dripping from open maws as the warriors and apprentices of ThunderClan crouched, ready for battle. She was surrounded by monsters.

"Our first Gathering, and we're going to crash it!" An excited voice broke into Brackenpaw's terrified mind, and she looked fearfully down at tiny Leafpaw and Mousepaw, who were shivering with anticipation. _They are just as hungry as the rest of them, _Brackenpaw thought with ever increasing horror. Her eyes flicked fearfully at the cats pressing around her, only, she didn't see her clan mates and fellow partners in hunting and patrolling. She saw the silhouettes of predators, fangs long and aching to be dipped in red. They could probably smell the fear rolling off of Brackenpaw, and it was only a matter of time before they turned on her and pounced.

"I'm so excited," Mousepaw whispered to her sister. Brackenpaw looked at them with an almost maniacal expression, one that the two were blissfully unaware of as they continued to engage in excited conversation. Brackenpaw clung to every word, desperate for the normalcy of their tone, like this was an everyday thing, not Brackenpaw's first big battle . . .

"I just can't wait to sink my claws into some stupid StoneClan apprentice!" Leafpaw added exuberantly, flexing said claws as if she were imagining them stained with scarlet, digging mercilessly into an invisible foe. Brackenpaw was so very glad she had not eaten that magpie.

Suddenly, Stormstar turned towards her assembled warriors, voice hushed. "We will proceed cautiously. StoneClan, SilverClan, and EarthClan are all assembled, and are about to begin the Gathering without us. Hickorytail, you'll take Aspenfoot, Nightclaw, Greeneyes, Largeblaze, and Volepaw directly downwind of the clearing, where WindClan will be gathered. Frostjaw, you'll take Graywing, Firesky, Rocktail, Flutterheart, Leafpaw, Mousepaw, and Brackenpaw to the side of the wind, at WindClan's left. Finally, I'm taking Riverpebble, Birdclaw, Tawnynose, and Whitefur to the right."

Brackenpaw looked up at the silvery leader, knowing why Stormstar went to the right. That was closest to where the leaders assembled to tell news, and Stormstar doubtless wanted to have a "glorious" confrontation of some kind with Windstar, leader of StoneClan. However, Brackenpaw wasn't as willing to concern herself with that as much as the prospect of going into battle alongside Leafpaw and Mousepaw. She couldn't stand to watch the apprentices become the monsters everyone else was.

"We move . . . now!" Stormstar hissed, and the assigned cats moved quickly, splashing into the water as quietly as possible, paddling desperately until the mud of the island's banks were under their paws. They paused, waiting for the signal to charge. Brackenpaw felt her chest begin to heave erratically, and saw dark spots in her vision. Above the banks ThunderClan rested on, three clans were gathered together as Redstar, leader of ShadowClan, congratulated two of his newest warriors. Cheers broke the night air, and Brackenpaw shivered, and the blinked, realizing the implications of the breeze that now ruffled her fur and the angle at which the rain of the storm hit her. The wind had shifted.

She could hear Rocktail's cursing as Stormstar leapt forward from her position far away. She raised her mouth to give the command to attack, even as the cats in the hollow raised open maws to sniff the air, even as Redstar's eyes widened in horror and he flicked his head around to the shadowy forms of cats crouched at the edge of the island. "Stormstar, you filthy, fox-hea—"

"ThunderClan, attack!" Cats streamed from the forest, bearing down mercilessly on those gathered below, cries of fear and bloodlust tearing the night apart. Brackenpaw was brutally knocked aside as Leafpaw and Mousepaw rushed past her, yowling their battle cries. Brackenpaw did not follow, her limbs locked with terror as she watched cats tear into each other, like foxes did little kits . . .

_Oh, please, NO!_ Brackenpaw suddenly regained control of her limbs, but stumbled awkwardly back into the trees, desperate to get away, away, as the sky began to become darker and darker. StarClan was angry with Stormstar and ThunderClan, but their wrath could not stop the blood-thirsty cats that were Brackenpaw's own clan mates.

Suddenly, unsheathed claws raked across Brackenpaw's face, and she fell, shocked. A huge, muscular grey and white tom stood over her, eyes as hungry as those of foxes and badgers and Stormstar. The small black and white apprentice cowered, curling into a fetal position as the tom held her by the throat. Her vision became blurry, and Brackenpaw tried to make a sound, but her windpipe was crushed. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tom to do away with her already, and deal the final blow.

_I'm coming, Badgerkit, I'm coming._

**Eh, sorry to leave you with a cliffie, but the chapter would have been too long if I kept going. Don't worry, school's almost done, so you'll get the next update much faster. Sorry again, and I hope you are enjoying the story!**


	3. flight of bracken

**Laaaate, this chapter is laaaate. Last time it took a month, this time it took two months. Urg, sorry, here it is. Please don't kill me for procrastinating. 3:**

_Brackenpaw lay against the rain-slick grass for _what felt like an eternity. Briefly, she wondered if she was already dead, if the killing blow had come so fast and sudden that she hadn't even been able to register the pain. But the heavy, firm paw was still on her throat, and she still struggled to breath. Suddenly, the weight fell away, and an ear-splitting screech tore at Brackenpaw's ears.

"Get away from my kit!" It was Greeneyes, come to defend his only surviving kit. Brackenpaw rolled over limply, her throat throbbing painfully. She looked over wearily to see her white father had leapt up on the other gray and white tom. She watched in horror as they fought viciously, tearing at each other's fur with blood-streaked claws.

Lightning flashed, startling Brackenpaw from her terrified and entranced state. The black and white apprentice bolted, leaping across the clearing to get away. The grass underfoot was slippery, mud squelching underfoot as she flashed across the Gathering turn battleground. She stopped, sliding in the muck to look back as thunder rolled darkly through the air.

The bodies of cats already lay limply in the clearing, turning the quickly growing puddles of rain red. Screams of terror echoed across the wide expanse of the clearing, and Brackenpaw cowered. She tilted her head skyward, a frail figure against wind and rain. A sliver of light burst through the clouds—the moon. Brackenpaw stared at it wide-eyed, following the shaft of light towards a familiar-looking shape huddled on the ground.

"Leafpaw! Leafpaw, get up!" The dark gray apprentice wailed, pushing at the red and white form. Brackenpaw's eyes widened in even greater horror, disbelief growing inside her. It was impossible, no she couldn't believe it. That wasn't Leafpaw, Leafpaw wasn't dead.

"Leafpaw! Why?" Mousepaw screamed, pushing at the bloody, white she-cat's limp body. The dark gray apprentice wailed, an unearthly sound that battered on Brackenpaw's shattered heart. Then, Mousepaw collapsed, shaking with sobs as she lay against her sister. "StarClan, I'll never forgive you!"

A growl rose from within Brackenpaw at the mention of StarClan. She rose her head upwards, at the piece of moonlight valiantly trying to shove its way through the clouds. _StarClan._ Was it their fault Brackenpaw didn't have Badgerkit beside her? Was it their fault she had to witness the death of the one she loved most when her life was only supposed to be beginning? _I'll never forgive you!_

A body slammed into Brackenpaw, sending her sprawling in the mud. She looked up, seeing that in a heated spat the leader of WindClan, Windstar (a name that had given him a lot of grief as a kit), had been shoved into her. Brackenpaw pressed her body into the wet earth, hoping to not be noticed. Brown stained her already crimson-streaked underbelly, covering any trace of the wounds she'd suffered.

"Windstar!" A screech met the air, audible to all in the clearing. Brackenpaw looked round to stare at Stormstar in amazement, taking in her glowing blue eyes. The silver tabby looked more fierce some then ever, and most of the fighting stopped in the clearing.

Brackenpaw looked around, and saw that ThunderClan had been greatly battered, which was no surprise. Although they had brought almost all of their clan into this fight, the other clan leaders had taken hefty patrols with them to this Gathering. Besides Leafpaw, several other cats had been lost. Brackenpaw tried to identify them, but the darkness and rain kept her from being sure.

"Stormstar." Brackenpaw turned to look at Windstar. The dark grey tom looked as fierce as Stormstar, perhaps even more so. His green eyes flashed with anger, and he snarled. "You coward. You have disobeyed StarClan, and now, they are angry!"

"Angry?" Stormstar snorted. "With you, maybe, but not with me! They have sent a great storm as a sign that they approve of my gesture!"

"I disagree, but then, maybe we should determine who StarClan really approves of!" Windstar's eyes gleamed in the darkness, and he crouched. "Fight me, coward, and we shall see who is the stronger!"

Stormstar screeched, and leapt. Windstar side-stepped her and took a swipe at her head. She ducked, quick to recover, but got a slashed ear. Brackenpaw blinked as a couple beads of red landed on her nose, and she shook it off, free of her revery. The black and white apprentice stood, unnoticed by largely everyone as the two leaders fought beside her. She didn't care if anyone did, all she knew as she turned was Leafpaw's limp body, the blood that mixed with the rain, and the desire to escape.

The she-cat ran, faster than she ever had before in her short life. She'd never exactly needed to run so fast before. There had been nothing to run from, not even the fox. She'd been too scared to run then, but now she wasn't. Brackenpaw had nothing to lose now. The terrified she-cat raced over the log that connected island to mainland, darted towards the dark trees surrounding the lake.

The forest loomed up ahead, a dark and fearsome sight that would have a lesser cat turn and run back. It was funny, really; Brackenpaw thought she was anything but brave. Running was thought of as cowardly, weak, much worse than turning and fighting the thing that made them run. It seemed impossible to fight off death and blood-lust, though, so Brackenpaw ran on.

She crashed through the bushes, stumbled over roots, and tore through brambles. She faltered when the sky lit up with lightning or tore apart with thunder, but she never stopped. Fear kept driving her forward, herding away from all she ever knew to what could be her death. Her possible end wasn't as great as the fear at her back, so Brackenpaw kept going.

Then, finally, when it felt like fire laced all of Brackenpaw's limbs, and her throat threatened to stop letting any air past at all, the black and white she-cat collapsed. She lay there for a long time, letting the rain wash over her, dousing the flames than ate at her body, and keeping it from rising up again. Then, she feebly dragged herself towards the base of a tree, where its roots and the surrounding vegetation offered a scant amount of shelter. She didn't shy from the rain, but from the chance of being found, by cat or other animal.

It was here that Brackenpaw laid awake, too terrified of discovery, but too weary to go on and find a greater sanctuary. Her fear and her tiredness fought for a long time, but the fear finally succumbed, and Brackenpaw fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

When she awoke, it was still rather dark, although the wail of the wind and the patter of the rain had long since fell away. Brackenpaw shifted, hissing audibly when she discovered that her limbs still ached. Her fur was still damp too, and the she-cat huddled under the root of the tree as she tried to salvage some warmth from her battered body. When she found her efforts to be in vain, the she-cat sighed, and crawled out from under the place where she had slept for the first time away from ThunderClan. Away from the place where she had been supposed to live for her entire life.

_I almost spent all my life there, _Brackenpaw thought. She could still remember how she'd been pressed brutally into the earth, and the gray and white tom had stood over her body, prepared to end her. _And she'd done nothing. _Brackenpaw shivered as she remembered now the way she'd eagerly awaited being able to see her brother. All she had wanted was to end, to get that accursed life over with.

_Well, I'm never going back to that, _Brackenpaw promised herself firmly. She looked around herself, and widened her eyes in surprise when she realized that this wasn't the forest she had fallen asleep in. The woods glowed with an almost starry quality, and overhead, there wasn't a sun or a moon but millions of huge, glowing stars. Brackenpaw looked around herself in awe, unable to understand how she had gotten to this place.

"Brackenpaw," a voice all too familiar mewed. Brackenpaw turned slowly, unable to believe it, but there he was. Her brother was much smaller than her now, stuck eternally as a kit. His yellow eyes held a deep wisdom though, and Brackenpaw blinked in surprise. He was changed to be sure.

"Badgerkit," she breathed, savoring his name on her tongue. She was still standing in the same way she had after she'd finally laid eyes on him, not daring to move. If she did, the whole forest and her brother might disappear, leaving her alone again.

"It's been awhile," Badgerkit mewed softly. He moved forward and touched his nose to hers. Brackenpaw stiffened at the cold, solid feel of his touch, and shivered when she felt that same cold course through her body. Her aches faded, and her constricted throat widened softly. She breathed in, delighting in the absence of the heavy rasp that it had after her throat was crushed. It was no more now, and she breathed easily once again. Her damp fur began drier, and the whole of Brackenpaw felt clean and pure, like starlight.

"Th-thank you," she said softly, her eyes shining. "W-why am I h-here?"

"Just because you left the clans doesn't mean StarClan won't still watch over you," Badgerkit said firmly. "This won't be the last time you see them."

"No," Brackenpaw said, growling low. "I can't go back! There's nothing for me there, not anymore."

Badgerkit shook his head slowly. "Some things, in the end, might surprise you."

"What do you mean?" Brackenpaw asked, looking at him with confusion. The black and white kit stepped back, and the forest began to melt away, taking him with it. The she-cat yowled with dismay and leapt forward. "No, don't leave me!"

* * *

Brackenpaw woke up with a start, and quickly scrambled out again from the root. There was no glowing forest of stars this time, though, and Badgerkit was nowhere in sight. Brackenpaw moaned and sat back into the base of the tree. Her brother said she was going to see the clans again, but Brackenpaw was determined to make the opposite true. How though?

The black and white she-cat looked around her and sighed. She couldn't live by herself in the forest forever, could she? She'd only been an apprentice for three moons, and she didn't think she could fend for herself against other rogues. No, Brackenpaw would just have to keep going, putting more and more distance between her and the clans. That way, she would never have a chance of stumbling on the clans again.

The second day of her flight from ThunderClan was harder than the first mostly because her aches came back soon after she started out, despite Badgerkit's healing efforts. She also hadn't eaten or drank anything since the day before, and Brackenpaw was starting to falter. By the time sun-high came around, all she cared about was finding a source of water. The black and white she-cat scrambled through the underbrush, searching desperately for a stream or a pond.

It was ironic that the day before Brackenpaw had more than enough water what with the storm and all, but in its aftermath the day was beginning to grow warmer and warmer. The black and white she-cat's health was rapidly deteriorating, and she narrowed her focus to taking one step after another. The routine had a ring of familiarity, and Brackenpaw felt a pain of irritation at the way she'd lamented her life in the clans.

Finally, though, the gurgle of water met her ears, and the black and white she-cat eagerly padded towards it. She found a steady-looking stream, swelled from water from the storm. Brackenpaw bent her head forward and hastily began to drink. She stood there for a long while before she had drunk her fill, and the black and white she-cat looked out over the stream, turning to see where it wound and disappeared down a slope. Brackenpaw knew she might be taking a risk in going on without any foreknowledge, and decided to follow the stream.

For the rest of the day the she-cat strode along the stream, taking drinks and resting when she was weary. Things were starting to look up for her, and Brackenpaw was beginning to hope she might be able to live comfortably on her own. She wouldn't be expected to fight day after day and watch her clan mates die before dying herself vainly. Instead, she would live out her days peacefully on her own, hunting prey at her leisure and following the quickly growing stream to its end. It wasn't a very glorious life, but to Brackenpaw, it was more alluring than any great destiny.

Her hunger pains started becoming more apparent once her thirst was sated, and as dusk settled over the land, Brackenpaw tried her luck at hunting. The she-cat had to stray from the stream's side to find prey, but she made sure to keep it at her back so she didn't lose it. She sighted a squirrel, and remembering how she and her brother almost caught one as kits, she began to creep forward. The white-tufted tail of the squirrel twitched decisively as it scavenged among the grass, and it was apparent that the creature was oblivious to Brackenpaw's presence.

The black and white she-cat continued to slide forward, feeling a flare of success every time she moved without being noticed. She could do this, she could survive as a nine moon old loner! Brackenpaw crouched, readying herself to pounce, when an audible _crack _split the air. Her head shot up, seeing wide, green eyes appear out of the foliage. Brackenpaw would have gaped in shock, but the squirrel had been startled into flight away from the sound, right into Brackenpaw's waiting claws.

She sprung into action, determined to not let _this _squirrel escape. She pinned it down with a quick dart of her paw, and hastily delivered a killing blow. The once struggling ball of fur fell limp against her limbs, and Brackenpaw grabbed it. The owner of the green eyes emerged from the trees, a gray tabby. It stared at her with wide, surprised eyes, but Brackenpaw didn't linger after catching her prey. She bolted, turning back towards the direction of the stream with all speed. The cat behind her let out an angry yowl, and pursued with a thunder of footfalls.

Brackenpaw veered through the trees, determined to shake the strange rogue off. Dipping in and out, Brackenpaw tried to be evasive as possible without straying far from the river. She could hear the other cat's breath whenever she paused, though, and kept going. Brackenpaw made for a break in the trees, deciding she might have to cross the stream to get out of the other cat's territory, if this was what it was. She pulled free of the undergrowth, and sprinted for the shallows of the now hefty stream.

She splashed through it, turning back halfway to see the gray tabby emerge from the trees. The rogue seemed to grow even angrier upon finding her crossing the stream, and growled low. Brackenpaw forged ahead, refusing to let the other cat catch her. There was a splash behind her, but Brackenpaw didn't look back. She clambered onto the opposite bank and fled downstream. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the gray tabby standing in the middle of the stream, watching but not pursuing.

The black and white she-cat ran on for a little while longer before becoming exhausted once again. Panting, she settled down by the stream and lapped up some more water. She ate the squirrel hungrily afterwards, cleansing its bones of all traces of meat before finally burying the remains. She settled down as the sky began to grow dark, and watched as the stars appeared overhead.

This had been Brackenpaw's first whole day away from GoldenClan, and she felt it had gone better than she'd hoped. Some part of her still marveled at the fact she'd actually ran away, but mostly she felt relief. She lowered her head and closed her eyes, thinking about how she'd seen her brother and StarClan, and the gray tabby. Something told her that she would be seeing the gray tabby again soon, but Brackenpaw shook it off. That was as likely as Brackenpaw seeing GoldenClan again.

Suddenly, a damp paw pressed into Brackenpaw's neck, and she stiffened. Fluttering her eyes open, Brackenpaw twisted to see the same grey tabby, his green eyes flashing. "What are you doing near our river?"

**CLIFFIE AGAIN! Sorry for all the cliffies, but I guess they are inevitable. This time, hopefully, you won't have to wait two months for the next chapter. T.T**


	4. follow the river

**Ha, instead of two months this time, you poor guys waited three, or something. Shows how my ****productivity has been slipping. Sometimes, I wish I waited until I had time to reliably update before I spontaneously posted three stories that soon acquired interested readers. But I guess when I get a plot in my mind, I have to get it out. Like for example, I've been thinking. About changing this so it correlates with canon. Mind you, this isn't just because. It instigates a whole plot that will extend over several stories, or "books", if I may. I originally thought this would be a stand-alone story about the deeper side of a warrior life, but things tend to spring up in my mind as I instigate a story. If I do decide to stick with the canon-idea, the last couple of chapters will be altered to fit canon. And then you shall all see how the story would be progressed considerably by canon.**

**Also, by the way, fish. **

**follow the river**

_The silver-gray tabby tom's green orbs blazed, their coloring a tad shade lighter than the ones that _graced her face. Brackenpaw trembled underneath him for a moment, and then remembered that she no longer feared death. She relaxed into his grip, and the tom tensed visibly, probably thinking she was going to try something. "I-I didn't know this was your river," she finally said, realizing that he was waiting for an answer.

"You'd better learn, or the next time you come near it, we won't be going easy on you." His eyes were fierce.

"Oh, lay off, Stream, it's obvious she's new to these parts," a lightly teasing voice said. Brackenpaw dared to shift over and saw a pretty, full-grown golden-brown tabby and white she-cat. Beside her, a golden tom perched on the banks, glowering at Brackenpaw. A white and orange head bobbed out of the water, belonging to a body which kicked across the current with the ease of an expert swimmer. The brown tabby and white she-cat looked at Brackenpaw with a grin. "Don't worry, it's not like we're going to hurt you."

"Didn't you see her?" The golden tom growled. "That she-cat was stealing prey that was rightfully ours!"

As the ginger tabby and white she-cat who'd been crossing the stream suddenly heaved herself onto the bank, dripping wet, she wrinkled her nose. "Eugh, forest-food. Give me a fish any day!"

Brackenpaw looked at them all in surprise. Where had they come from? She'd only seen the silver tabby tom chasing her. The white and black she-cat tensed underneath the tom's grip, momentarily fearful in her delirious state. Would they take her back to her clan? Would they drag her back to that horrible lake, where she would be surrounded by cats full of petty ambitions and shallow hearts? "Please, I w-won't do it again!" She had to leave, before they recognized her!

"What's your name?" The golden tom said, advancing towards her.

She obviously couldn't tell them her real name. Her clan name. Heh, it wasn't like she was ever going to use that name ever again. She was a loner, might as well have it so her name fitted this fact. "Bracken," she murmured, peering up at the tom who, she supposed, was the group's leader. "I-I'm just passing through. Didn't know that th-this was part of your territory."

"Technically, it isn't our territory," the ginger she-cat drawled, flicking her tail. "Just our _river._"

"Sun!" The silver-tabby hissed, his ears going back against his head.

The ginger she-cat looked annoyed. "What? It's the truth!"

Bracken looked at the cats quizzically. "What do you mean? You can't own only a r-river!"

"But we do!" The golden-brown and white she-cat quipped. "We're Followers of the Starlight River. Well, not fully-fledged Followers, but we've almost finished our pilgrimage!"

_Pilgrimage? Followers? Starlight River? What in StarClan are these cats talking about? _Bracken looked up at them quizzically. "Um, that's interesting, but I-I'm hungry, and I have a w-ways to go before nightfall, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't-"

"But of _course_!" The tabby and white she-cat exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "Silly me, you probably don't know about a single thing that I'm talking about! She turned to the silver tabby. "Stream, we are _Followers _for Raqus's sake! Let the loner have her land-prey and we can tell her all about our amazing lives!"

"Leaf! We don't tell random strangers secrets about the Followers!" The golden tom protested.

"Th-that's alright," Bracken said, standing up as Stream reluctantly stepped off of her. Her momentary stutter slipped away as her heart became heavy inside her chest. "I come from a place where we act the same way about our Clans and Silverpelt." There really didn't seem to be any damage in telling them the truth; it was obvious they'd probably never heard of the clans. _She _certainly hadn't ever heard of them.

Leaf looked up at her in surprise. "Didn't you say you were a loner?"

"_Now _I am. I don't want to ever set paw in Clan territory ever again." Bracken bristled slightly.

The golden-brown and white she-cat's ears angled upwards. "Well, you can come with us!"

"Leaf!"

"Come on, pleeeeease, Gold?" The cat turned to look at the golden tom pleadingly. "We can use every set of paws we can get after _you-know-what. _And it sounds like she isn't some common rogue. She came from a place with a code, we can teach her ours!"

Bracken looked at the golden tabby in dismay, shrinking back. She flinched when she accidentally brushed against the silver tom, Stream. He looked at her darkly, and she took another few paw steps back. She shook her head wildly at Leaf. Her stutter returned as fear flared inside her. "N-no, please, I d-don't want that life again! Just l-let me go, I-I won't set foot near your r-river!"

The group of cats turned to look at the strange black and white she-cat with surprise. Leaf took a step towards her. "What do you mean?"

"I hated being part of a Clan! They are all bloodthirsty, selfish, and can't see past their own noses! I watched my clanmates die over scraps of territory! It was tearing me apart to stay there, so I ran away!" Bracken spat, backing towards the trees. If she got far enough away, she could run, and they probably wouldn't follow her. Not if their _precious_ river needed defending.

Leaf's blue eyes widened in horror. "W-we're not like that at all!"

"I wouldn't expect you to understand!" The black and white she-cat hissed. She took another step away, sinking back onto her haunches.

Stream's green eyes narrowed, and the tip of his tail twitched. "You shouldn't judge someone before you know them, _Bracken_."

"I don't _need _to get to know you—any of you. I already know enough to guess that I would rather _die _than be tied up by the empty words you'd call a code!" Bracken whirled, springing away from the crazy group of river cats. She ran into the sanctuary of the trees, her blood pumping wildly through her veins. She thought she heard footfalls behind her, and ran even faster. They wouldn't be able to hold her—not anymore!

For a few breathless moments, Bracken was aloft, free of all strife. Then, as she lifted her forepaw—the one that was dashed with white—a wayward bramble caught it, yanking her body to the ground. Everything came crashing down in a fire of different aches and pains as Bracken crumpled. Her stomach was practically tearing itself apart now, and her throat burned from a lack of moisture. Bracken retained barely enough energy to moan, feebly stretching out a paw. She-she had to get away . . .

Paw steps thundered towards her, making her heart beat faster in her chest. There was little the exhausted she-cat could do, though. She had run too far, eaten too little, to run anymore. Bracken's vision blurred, and for a heart-stopping moment, she was back at the Gathering, her fur stained with blood as she lay in the wet grass. The wind was screaming, tearing at her with the claws of the dying cats surrounding her. The she-cat tried to scream too, struggling to escape as paws, _real _paws, tugged at her fur. "Leave me . . . alone . . . !"

They wouldn't let go, let her go. She was stuck, she was going to drown . . . i-in blood! Feebly, she lifted a paw. Sh-she had to escape! Spots danced in her vision though, and her muscles cried out for mercy. Bracken's line of sight closed as her head collapsed with a dull thud into the underbrush, what little grasp she had on reality slipping away. Blackness enveloped her.

* * *

When it lifted, the forest and the river cats who had been trying to stop her from escaping had disappeared, replaced with the Gathering, depicted ten times more vividly. Bracken stumbled forward, and gasped. There was something very, very different about the island. One detail, caking her fur and slick on the grass surrounding her. _Blood. Everywhere. _Bracken resisted the urge to purge her stomach of the bile rising within, and stumbled back with a small cry. Her back paw caught on something soft, and Bracken tumbled next to a familiar mass of red-stained white fur.

"_Leafpaw! Why?" _It was Mousepaw again, tugging uselessly at her sister. _"StarClan, I'll never forgive you!"_

_"M-Mousepaw . . ."_ Bracken breathed, lifting a paw to her former clanmate. She realized with a lurch that she'd never found out what had happened to the heart-broken gray apprentice. "Please," she said, her voice breaking. _"I-I know what it's like. She's-she's not coming back." _

The gray she-cat was deaf to Bracken's words, and only buried her face in her sister's fur. _"Leafpaw, please . . . don't leave me."_

"She's not coming back," Bracken said, feeling her body tear at the devastation so clearly etched in Mousepaw's features. The black and white she-cat took a step away, curling her head against her chest. "I'm so-sorry."

Suddenly, a dark shape lurched from the mass of struggling cats surrounding them. Mousepaw never saw the warrior coming, and fell beside her sister with the softest of sighs. Her attacker fell on top of her with a considerably louder thump, glowing irises narrowed with dark anticipation. The dark cat, unidentifiable by Bracken, moved quick as a flash. Before the white and black she-cat could even cry out, the warrior had fangs latched around her throat. Dark blood, mixing with the shadows cast by the storm overhead, spurted freely.

"_No!" _Bracken screamed, her eyes widening with horror. Her ears went flat against her skull, and the entire length of her frame arced with horror and shock. Her body, weak after her travels, was prepared to collapse after watching the vivid demise of the youthful, shining-eyed _kit _that had been Mousepaw. Her mind tore in two, one half screaming for revenge, the other for flight. Locked in combat, Bracken herself remained frozen.

The dark cat savored victory, lowering its head to _lick _the blood from Mousepaw's limp body. Bracken yelled aloud, her anger winning out at the morbid sight. The white and black she-cat darted forward, slamming into the larger warrior in a rare show of bravery. _"Leave her alone!"_

They went tumbling, end over end in the bloody grass. When they finally separated, Bracken panting heavily, the white and black she-cat's frame was completely tainted red. She struggled to stand up, her eyes darting over the battle field. More bodies laid strewn on the ground, eyes staring blankly ahead, their bellies and throats torn asunder. Bracken let out a small cry when she recognized her parents and her former mentor, Graywing, among the dead. And there was Volepaw too, half of his face torn to bloody shreds. He had been Badgerkit's best friend, a teasing and energetic cat—never took anything seriously. Bracken fell back into the grass at the thought that his yellow eyes would never sparkle again. Just . . . like . . . _Badgerkit._

The mystery murderer was already on its feet, a growl beginning in its throat. As Bracken looked up with helpless horror, a stray beam of light, alone in all the world, struck down on the dark cat. Its features, terrible in all their truth, shone brightly down on Bracken.

"_S-Stormstar?" _Bracken exclaimed, her voice breaking incredulously. The silver leader, her snout dusted with the red blood of her fallen enemies, curled her lips back to show blood-covered fangs. She smiled down on the former apprentice mockingly, her blue eyes narrowed cruelly. Slowly, the silver she-cat sauntered forward until she could lower her head to Bracken's.

_"Little she-cat, where did you wander off to?" _Stormstar queried, her voice deceptively smooth. A cold purr was forced from her chest. _"You could have been part of something . . . _wonderful_.__"_

_"H-how could you kill your own __clan mates?" _Bracken cried with horror, shrinking back from the silver tabby she-cat.

_"They weren't my clanmates," _Stormstar purred icily. _"They were traitors. They didn't understand that I was helping them, so I had to end their misery. Only those who are loyal to me deserve to live." _The silver she-cat looked at Bracken like she'd been presented with a particularly juicy mouse as a surprise. _"And you, well, you ran away, didn't you? And run-away cowards can't be allowed to live . . ."_

Bracken screamed as the ThunderClan leader pounced, preparing for blackness to take her. But it seemed the silver she-cat would rather toy with her prey for a few moments. She chuckled sadistically, raking her claws along the frail black and white she-cat's belly. Blood coursed between the digits of her damp paws, staining them a freshly dark red, and Bracken screeched at the fire that blossomed wherever Stormstar's claws ran along her body. It would _consume _her, burn for eternity as it cruelly tore her mind to pieces.

_"I will find you," _Stormstar promised, grinning down at the tiny she-cat. _"And when I do, you'll never be able to run away again."_

* * *

"Bracken! _Please _stop screaming!" The white and black she-cat only cried out more fiercely, her eyes shut tightly as she tried to shove the cat away from her.

"Stop it! Please . . . I'll do anything!" Bracken whimpered feebly, batting at the offending paws as they tried to reach out to her. She twisted away, struggling to get away even though her eyes were still closed. The she-cat's heart thundered in her chest. She had to get away from Stormstar, from the clans! They couldn't ever hurt her again!

"I'm not _doing _anything! If you would just _let me—"_

_"__You killed my __clan mates!" _Bracken shrieked shrilly, her paws sliding over moss. Moss? The white and black she-cat opened her eyes, and they widened when she saw no bloody clumps of grass stuck between her claws, but slender treads of moss. The sun's rays were pressed warmly against her back, and golden light shone on the banks of the river she was next to. This was no Gathering Island.

The black and white she-cat couldn't get the visions of the terrible battle, both the real one and the dreamed, out of her head. When she closed her eyes again, all she could see was Stormstar's leering face, blood oozing from between her lips and down the sides of her face and neck. Then, Leafpaw's broken body flashed into view, a _real memory _that would haunt her forever. Bracken's head fell to her paws as Badgerkit dared to appear, his head askew. His body was so scored, so unbearably red, _so torn_ that Bracken would give _anything _to have the horrid memory taken from her mind.

"B-Bracken?" The white and black she-cat turned her head, and saw Leaf looking at her uncertainly, her golden-brown tabby and white frame hunched over her warily. "Who killed your clan mates?"

Bracken jerked her head up in surprise, eyes narrowed in confusion. Then, they widened in clarity. Had-had Leaf and the others heard her screaming? How much had they heard? Her body tensed, and she pulled away from the river cat. "I-I'm sorry, I've gotta go." Blue eyes bore down on her in her mind, promising great pain if Bracken didn't put as much distance between her and the clans as possible. She was a fugitive now, and Badgerkit was wrong; she could never go back now.

"Bracken, you went into unconsciousness when you tried to run away!" Leaf said, pushing the other she-cat back down into the moss firmly. "You'll kill yourself if you move around without having some food and water." The golden-brown and white she-cat tilted her head pointedly down at the fish next to her paws. "_Eat._"

Normally, Bracken would've wrinkled her nose at the thought of RiverClan food, but as the phantom scars of her nightmare faded, the hunger pains inside intensified. The black and white she-cat took the slippery fare great fully, claws pricking and sinking into the wet flesh for purchase. It didn't even occur to Bracken to wonder why the fish had been given to her until most of it was in her stomach. When the question did cross her mind, the she-cat lifted her head, green eyes sparked with confusion. "W-why are you helping me? Weren't you going to punish me for stealing prey?"

"Maybe we would've, but when you collapsed, Gold saw how weak you were and relented to helping you. We dragged you back to the riverbank and made our moss beds for the night. I could hear you talking in your sleep during the night, and by the time morning came you woke us all up with your screaming. And now you're awake and we've come full circle." Leaf beamed as she finished her short explanation, seemingly unperturbed by Bracken's apparent "screaming" from moments earlier. It made Bracken realize just how young the she-cat was, how young all these cats must be, being not much bigger than the tiny black and white she-cat. They couldn't be more than a few moons older than her!

Bracken bowed her head in shame and embarrassment at the thought of keeping these generous young cats awake with her wailing, though. However . . . if she'd collapsed yesterday afternoon, that meant her dream had passed much more slowly than real time. Her body shuddered slightly at the thought of the antagonizing pain Stormstar inflicted on her lasting even longer. She finished the fish quickly, licking her paws. "Th-thank you." She glanced around, and frowned as she noticed something. "Although, I have to ask . . . where is everyone else?"

She scanned the small make-shift camp, which was comprised of hastily made nests of moss which looked unkempt and slept-in. However, their previous occupants were nowhere to be seen. Or rather . . . did Bracken imagine that shift of the water where the sun was glinting rather painfully? The black and white she-cat squinted, her ears going back. The water upheaved slightly, and a silver head, framed by golden light, appeared. The tom calmly scanned the waters, a fish firmly clamped in his jaws.

"Well, there's Stream right there!" Leaf chirped, ears perking up excitedly. "I've gotta tell you, the tom's probably secretly half-fish himself. It's crazy what he can do in water!"

Bracken thought that Leaf's joking theory wasn't half-off as she watched Stream nimbly cut through the water, barely creating a disturbance before abruptly sinking. The black and white she-cat tried to scan the water for a sign of his whereabouts when it became apparent he wasn't going to immediately surface, but her efforts were futile. The moments lengthened, and Bracken felt a touch of concern. What if the tom drowned himself? She crept closer to the edge of the bank, until she could see her reflection in the refreshingly blue river-water. "Is he alright, do you think?"

The she-cat leaned forward, her nose breaths away from breaking the water's surface. It occurred to her that her throat was parched. She fought the momentary feeling, rebuking herself for thinking about something so selfish . . . wait, what? Since when did Bracken care about being selfish? The black and white cat was frozen as she rolled over the sudden change in subject in her mind.

Suddenly, in the water before her, a silver head, capped with yellow-gold and white, appeared. Bracken started in surprise, and jerked her head back so fast that her legs slid beneath her . . . and off the bank. With a dismayed screech, the black and white she-cat collapsed into the water next to Stream. The tom darted from her side, and she sank haplessly into the cool water. After a few moments of shock and fear, Bracken realized that the cool, refreshing water threading through her fur actually felt _good_. The opposite of the thick, burning blood that she'd been drowning in at the Gathering . . .

Bracken pushed off the bottom of the riverbed instinctively, and resurfaced with a gasp. Water flooded between her jaws, and she spluttered as it went down her throat without bidding. She hacked painfully, her tired body burning with every thrust, and she shook her wet head briskly. Vaguely, Bracken was aware of a disgruntled Stream looking at her, but she ignored him in favor of gulping down more water once recovered, thrilling in the feeling of revitalization.

"Oh, Bracken, are you alright?" That was Leaf, crouched on the shore anxiously.

"Never better," Bracken said, blinking happily when she realized her voice no longer sounded raspy and strained. She flexed her jaw, and pedaled her legs through the water when it occurred to her that the current was slowly tugging her downstream. Kicking determinedly with her back-legs, Bracken reached for the shore, and dug her claws into the gritty bank. "I . . . I got it." And determined to prove this statement, Bracken pushed up from the bank. However, it proved more slippery than she thought, and she flopped back into the river with a yelp.

She shook herself off and glared at the bank for a moment as she prepared herself for another go. However, before she could do anything, she suddenly felt unfamiliar fur brushing against her, and Bracken jerked her head up to look at Stream in surprise. The green-eyed tom looked at her with an unreadable expression, and he seemed to set his jaw. "Here," he said, nudging her towards the bank. "I can help."

Bracken frowned. "I'm not helpless, I can do it!" She thought back to the days after Badgerkit's death, when everyone was always looking at her sympathetically, and trying to offer her "help." She didn't help, not then, and certainly not now! She pushed away from Stream and kicked towards the bank determinedly. "I can do it," she repeated fiercely. The black and white she-cat sank her feet into the bank with ferocity, and arced her back as she struggled to find a way to get the rest of the way up the bank.

"You need help," Stream stated flatly. The tom had swam up behind her, and with the ease of an expert who knew what he was doing, the tom reached up to sink his claws into the bank. He pressed his shoulder under her ribcage, and looked up at her imploringly. "I'm going to support you so you can get up." He then reached up with his back-legs, supporting the rest of his body with only his two front legs, and, pressing against the earth, pushed himself up. The weight of Stream's shoulder against her side eased the weight Bracken's limbs needed to support considerably. The she-cat let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, and reached up with her forepaws, using Stream to keep her body from sliding down as she did so. One black and one white paw, both clutching on to the top of the bank. Bracken slowly lifted her back-legs further up the bank, and gave her body a final heave over the side.

She lay there on the grass triumphantly for a few moments, panting heavily, before straightening. Stream pulled himself up over the side a few beats later, grunting slightly. "Thanks," the she-cat muttered, unsure of what to say. The tom didn't reply, turning abruptly to walk back down to the makeshift camp. He then bent down to pick something up, which Bracken saw was the fish he'd caught earlier. He must've dropped it off before trying to help her scale the bank.

"Here, Leaf, you can have it," Stream said, proffering the fish to the tabby and white she-cat. She looked at him in dismay, and pushed it away. "No, you caught it, you should eat first!"

The tom's whiskers twitched with something that Bracken imagined might be amusement. He bent down, and took a large beat of the prey, and pushed it back towards Leaf. "We can share," he suggested after swallowing.

"Alright!" Leaf chirped, and she lowered her head to take a chunk of the fish. Stream looked at her with a sudden warmth in his green eyes that Bracken never noticed before. Hesitantly, the she-cat approached the pair, her body low to the ground in a submissive posture. She felt uneasy, not wanting to interrupt the strange new moment. _They're like . . . like a . . . like a _family. Bracken paused at the thought, her eyes widening. _Like a family . . . _She lowered her head, squeezing her eyes shut, and shivering slightly. A familiar black and white face shone down on her from the depths of her mind, yellow eyes shining with the same warmth that Stream presented now to Leaf. _Siblings, closely knit, always looking out for each other . . . oh, Badgerkit, where _are _you? _

There was a shift of paws to Bracken's left, and she jerked her head up, eyes fluttering open, to see Stream looking at her. The silver-gray tabby tom was looking at her with cold green eyes, devoid of the sunlight it had shone with only breaths ago. Bracken felt shame grow in her belly under the fierce disapproval and distrust within his gaze. "Any way I can return the favors you all gave me?" She asked, looking up at Stream hesitantly.

"I'd rather not have to assist you climbing over a _bank _again," he said coldly. With a flick of his tail, the tom moved away from the two she-cats, and dove back into the river. Bracken bowed her head, trying to not show how much her frame shook with self-disgust. She really couldn't do anything, could she? And to think, she'd been ready to die a few days ago . . .

"Hey, it's alright Bracken," Leaf exclaimed, lifting her tail tip to the other she-cat's shoulder comfortingly. She looked over at Bracken with bright blue eyes. "It takes awhile for anyone to get on Stream's good side. And I'm sure you'll make a great asset to the pod!"

_Pod? _Bracken wondered briefly. _Is that like a clan? _She didn't dwell on it though, for Leaf's words had brought up another, more pressing matter. "I'm sorry, Leaf, but I'm not staying."

The brown tabby and white she-cat's eyes widened in dismay. "Why not? If it's Gold and Stream that are concerning you, don't worry, they'll be alright when you show them that you can take care of yourself."

"I'm not a warrior, and I'm not a river-follower," Bracken said firmly, lashing her tail. "I chose to be a loner, and I have no intent of being caught up with another group and their ideals." She turned to look at Leaf with wide green eyes. "Please, Leaf, I just want to be alone, away from everything."

The golden brown tabby and white she-cat bowed her head reluctantly. "Okay, Bracken, I understand. We won't hold you back. If you need us, you can always follow the river."

"I'll remember that," Bracken said with a smile. Privately though, the black and white she-cat doubted she would ever set foot near this river again. She was going in a straight line away from the clans, far away, and she wouldn't stop until she was certain she would be free, and alone, apart from everything . . . The she-cat straightened abruptly. She ought to start walking, and she could think about the end of her journey while she was putting one foot in front of the other. "Well, I'm wasting daylight. It was nice to meet you, Leaf, and the rest of your . . . pod. Thanks for helping me, again."

The golden she-cat nodded sorrowfully, her eyes misty. "Safe travels, Bracken. I'll let the others know you've gone on ahead when they get back."

Bracken nodded back briskly, and turned to the forest. For a moment, she hesitated when she was back under the the roof of tree limbs and leaves, and snuck a look back over her shoulder. Leaf stared back, her golden body framed with sunlight, and her head cocked to the side. Her blue eyes seem to hold as much depth as the river behind her, flowing on from distant lands and continuing onwards. Bracken wondered what she looked like to Leaf, wreathed in shadows, and with dull green eyes devoid of any hope after having had it crushed underfoot by foxes and storms and stars. The white and black she-cat was frozen for a moment as she dwelt on her own appearance. Was it possible that she could . . .? No. Never again. She turned away and kept walking, letting the shadows swallow her.

The she-cat went on walking for a while until, when she looked back again, she could only see forest stretching all around her. Bracken paused, and looked around at the trees uncertainly. She remembered all too well what had happened last time when she'd nearly died from dehydration. The forest, which she had been walking under since forever as a ThunderClan cat, suddenly seemed suffocating. Bracken turned, and tried to consider her options. She could very well die if she continued blindly through the forest. She'd really been lucky to stumble on the first river; what was the likelihood she would find another one? But going back to the first river, she would be forced to turn back or join the river-followers' pod, neither option being one she could afford.

Bracken sat down in the undergrowth as she tried to think over her dilemma. Something occurred to her though as she thought, though; weren't the river-follwers, well, river-followers? That meant they would keep going in one direction alongside the water, and they could be gone by the time Bracken turned back. She could go in the opposite direction, and never worry about them or dehydration. It sounded like the perfect solution.

Springing up, the black and white she-cat turned towards the sound of the river's gurgling and hissing. She walked much more slowly now though, putting one foot in front of the another at a leisurely pace. She had all the time in the world, knowing where her source of food and water was. And it was better that Bracken move slowly anyways, because that meant the river-followers could cover more ground and would be less likely to run into her again.

The sun was about to set when Bracken was finally of the trees and their lingering shadows. The river glowed like fire, rippling like the edges of a sky-reaching fire that licked at the clouds. The black and white she-cat curled by the shore, lapping up water that tasted like icy fire. Finally, she retired in the old moss nests that the pod had been using the last night. She curled up, resting her head on her paws, and watch the stars come to life overhead. They glinted coldly, and their icy beauty was forgotten as Bracken remembered bitterly that they were the reason she was even beside this river, alone without a single clan mate to share warmth with. The only reason she even bothered to look up at the horrible, faraway spirits was in hopes that Badgerkit may be looking back down at her. She wondered what was happening in the clans, how successful ThunderClan's attack on the Gathering had been. If Stormstar had gotten her revenge . . .

Bracken shivered at the thought of the power-hungry silver tabby. She could see those terrible, cold blue eyes lingering in the shadows, as compassionless as the stars above. The black and white she-cat looked at those eyes, reflecting all the ripples in the river, and realized they weren't a figment of her imagination. There really was someone staring at her from the shadows of the forest. Bracken froze, her body stiffening as a sleek cat slunk from the shadows, and the reflection of the river faltered in its eyes, revealing that the cat's eyes were actually green.

"What are you still doing here?" Stream growled, looking at Bracken coldly. Though his eyes were a different color than Stormstar's, they seemed just as icy, Bracken noted bitterly.

"Why do you care? I'm going in a different direction, so it shouldn't matter what I do," Bracken growled, narrowing her own green eyes at the tom.

"Rivers aren't exactly very safe to hang around if you are alone," the silver tom pointed out darkly.

"Are you suggesting that you actually care what happens to me?"

Stream bristled a bit, the hairs on the back of his neck rising. "Of course not," he growled. "I'm just not heartless."

"Well, thanks for the tip, but I think I can handle myself." She turned away, looking back down at the river.

"We both know that isn't true." There was the soft sound of foot-falls, and Bracken was able to feel the heat coming off of Stream's fur. She turned to see him gazing down at the river as well, suddenly lost in thought. She rose silently, angling her ears towards him in surprise.

"Wh-what are you doing here, anyway?" Bracken asked, taking a step away from him.

"I figured you might come back, so I made up an excuse of checking for other cats or predators that might be stalking us," Stream explained without looking up. If Bracken looked at his eyes, they looked blue again, reflecting the river's light.

"Why?" Bracken asked, more softly now.

"I'm pretty good at seeing people for who they are," Stream said. "It was obvious to me that you aren't really a loner. You get exhausted easily, you aren't in tune with your senses, and you immediately become submissive under a lot of pressure. That tells me you're a run-away more than anything, which also means that you probably won't survive a moon out on your own."

"Why not?" Bracken exclaimed, perturbed at the way Stream had pointed out her faults. "I've received training as a warrior apprentice, and I'm a good hunter."

"You're not a fighter, though, and as a loner, you need to be willing to fight for every scrap of food," the silver tom explained gruffly, finally looking up from the river. The fire in his green eyes was startling. "You should go back."

Bracken took a step back. "Never," she growled.

Stream looked at her grimly. "What could have possibly happened to you that makes you hate these clans so much?"

"You want to know?" Bracken hissed, straightening to a newfound height. "My brother _died _when I was a kit. I saw him get torn apart in front of my eyes. It made me realize that I don't _want _to throw away my life fighting pointlessly. So I ran away."

Stream's eyes widened in surprise, and he broke her gaze to look back at the river. "Oh."

"Yes, _oh_,"Bracken hissed, bristling. "Why don't you just run back to your pod, Stream? I don't want your help, or anyone's help!"

"Bracken," Stream said slowly, catching her glare with his steady green eyes. "Don't try to swim upstream. It will hurt you more than help." He rose to his feet, and began walking downstream.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bracken exclaimed, looking after Stream incredulously.

"Don't dwell in the past," he called over his shoulder. "Take what the river throws at you, and keep going. Follow the river, Bracken, _downstream_."

_Don't dwell in the past? Follow the river? _Bracken stared after the silver tom as he receded from from view, wondering over what he'd said. She twisted her paws in the earth, gritting her teeth. _I don't dwell in the past! Who does he think he is? _She glared after him for a few moments, and then fell back into the moss nest. She curled her tail so the tip covered her nose, and closed her eyes. Answers could wait until morning, when she could . . . follow the river.

**I know, I know. You all probably all have a bunch of questions about the river-followers, and this latest chapter. Like for example, who the heck is Raqus? And what is the thing that the river-followers refer to as _you-know-what_? And why did you bother making up this random culture of river cats, silly GP? Also, why are you so freaking slow at updating and have to make your chapters so long? Well, all shall be (hopefully) revealed in the upcoming chapters. Except for that last question, which I can tell you right now is that it's because that's just how I roll, unfortunately.**

**Review! Point out flaws, or rave about how the story is coming along so far! -flails- Don't worry, I won't take three months to get the next chapter up. Hopefully. Possibly. Maybe. **


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